I assumed I am sitting beside a lawyer.
Yes, I am at my favorite doughnut shop in town.
He's so well-dressed, and he is typing some-things with some law and such. And yes, he's mannered.
"Maaf Mas, stop-kontaknya masih ada yang kosong?"
"Masih. Biar saya bantu, Mbak."
This is one of many things that I like when I sit alone here.
I saw two high-schoolers so stressed out studying their brains out for the exam. And they also talking about their teacher.
"Wali kelasmu baik banget, sih?"
"Lah emang kalo kamu gimana?"
"Ya gitu, beda pokoknya!"
Hahaha. I remember those times. When I was just fooling around at school, not knowing what to do other than that.
I also saw a woman secretly taking photos of her doughnut and her orange juice. Maybe for her Instagram stories. Hahaha.
Paying attention to people helps me understand how this world works.
Everyone is busy minding their own business, trying to reach their goals, trying to be the best version of themselves. But do we even know what is the best version of our-self?
Lately, I've been in such a state of restless. I got mixed feelings about many things; myself, college, friendship, love. And the biggest question is,
Why am I feeling so less than enough?
Am I able to solve my own problem?
Do I need a person to lean on? To talk about my weird thought? My restless thought? Why would I need one?
Am I not being capable of handling myself?
That is the scariest question of all.
Ngurusin diri sendiri aja engga bisa, apalagi ngurusin orang lain.
That's what they say.
Jadi, sudah berapa jauh kamu bisa mengatasi gejolak emosimu?